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♪ ♪
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(alarm ringing)
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♪ ♪
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(exhales)
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INFLUENCER (over video):
Cred has more electrolytes
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than Gatorade or Prime.
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And now Cred has a new flavor:
Cherry Bubblegum.
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Eric, do you really need
to bring three bottles
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of that drink to school?
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{\an8}Mom, a kid today is defined
by their hydration drink.
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{\an8}I have to have more Cred
than anyone else.
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♪ ♪
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♪ I got Cred, bitches ♪
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♪ I got Cred ♪
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♪ I got Cred, bitches ♪
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♪ I got Cred ♪
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♪ I got Kiwi Lime ♪
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♪ I got Gooble Grape ♪
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♪ You got no Cred, bitches ♪
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♪ But I got mine ♪
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♪ We got Cred, bitches,
we got Cred ♪
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♪ Our teeth are blue, bitches ♪
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♪ Our tongues are red... ♪
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CARTMAN:
Yeah, but it's, like, seriously,
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look at how it's suddenly
everybody now.
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Like that Spencer Hollis kid.
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He never even cared about Cred,
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he just drinks it
'cause some stupid influencer
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said it's cool now.
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Hey, hey, Clyde,
where's your Cred?
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Oh, um, it's in my...
I-I already drank it.
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See? That's what
I'm talking about.
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Clyde likes Cred so much that
he drank all his before noon.
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That's a real Cred drinker.
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Unlike all the poser
Cred drinkers
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like Spencer Hollis!
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Fuck you.
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Fuck you, Spencer,
you're a fucking poser!
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STRONG WOMAN:
It's literally everywhere now.
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These crazy hydration drinks
that say they're healthy,
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but are loaded with fake sugars
and not safe for children.
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Why now? Why are kids
suddenly so into these things?
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Online influencers.
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They promote this stuff to kids
to make money.
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I don't know what kind of
scumbags would push adult things
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- on something they know
kids will watch. - (pounding on door)
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You guys, we have a big problem.
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- What is it?
- It's about the South Park
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elementary art teacher.
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Mrs. Streibel? What about her?
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We just found out
that she's been...
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doing pornographic videos
on OnlyFans.
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- Oh, no.
- Oh, yes.
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There's gonna be
a big meeting tonight,
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and everybody's gonna see it.
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♪ ♪
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♪ ♪
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{\an8}(indistinct shouting)
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Everyone, let's try
to be civil here.
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Be civil?
How are we supposed to go home
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and explain to our children that
their art teacher is a slut?
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(agreeing chatter)
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She is not a slut.
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Mrs. Streibel is a woman
engaging in a legal activity
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on a website
that is for adults only.
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(angry shouting)
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Of course kids are gonna see it.
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- They see everything
on the Internet. - (agreeing chatter)
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Well, the problem is you guys
buy your kids phones, okay?
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Just like you buy them all these
unhealthy hydration drinks.
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Oh, don't turn this
around on us.
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We can't control
what our kids drink
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or what they watch.
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They're your kids.
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Many teachers
are struggling to get by
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and need ways to supplement
their income.
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Mrs. Streibel makes close
to minimum wage as a teacher,
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but on OnlyFans, she makes
an extra $10,000 a week.
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(indistinct shouting)
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It doesn't matter
how much she made,
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we're talking about someone
who influences our children.
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Did she say $10,000 a week?
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Listen, we have suspended
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Mrs. Streibel indefinitely,
okay?
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But over the next few days,
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you should probably talk
to your kids
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about what they might
have seen, m'kay.
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Uh, hey, Clyde, w-why don't you
come over here and have a seat?
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What?
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Uh, have a seat, pal.
We need to talk to you.
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Clyde...
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we're understanding
that some tough things
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have been going on at school.
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Yes. Yes, they have.
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All right, well, we know
that some of the stuff
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you're dealing with
might be kind of disturbing.
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Yes, it's totally disturbing,
yes.
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All right, Clyde, well,
we want to try and help you.
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Really? You do?
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Oh, thank God. Finally.
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Yeah, pal,
let-let me explain to you
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what "double penetration" is.
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Double penetration?
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See, in your art teacher's
OnlyFans page,
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her and two men,
who love each other very much,
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wanted to express that love...
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Dad, nobody cares
about double penetration.
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My life at school is awful
because you don't let me drink
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hydrating sports drinks
like all the other kids.
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Clyde, we've told you,
those things are filled
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with additives and fake sugar,
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and they're not good
for children.
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You're not even
my real mom, Janice,
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so why don't you
shut the fuck up?
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Clyde, that's enough.
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Every other kid at school
is allowed to have it.
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They all have Cred,
but I have zero Cred
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because my dad
and his stupid girlfriend
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think it's bad for me.
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Why do you want to be
like all the other kids?
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Shut up, Janice,
you're not my mom!
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All right, Clyde, we're trying
to have a nice talk with you
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about double penetration,
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and you can just go
to your room now.
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Fine!
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Thanks a lot
for making sure your son
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is the only kid in school
without any Cred!
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INFLUENCER (over video):
It's like nobody understands me, you know?
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Like, all these stupid boomers
and people over 40
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don't know how hard it is
for young people.
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- Yeah.
- Like, yo, if you guys
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feel the same way,
just leave a comment down below
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and smash that like button.
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{\an8}You know, the most important
thing is just to be yourself.
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And when I feel like
I can't be myself,
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that's when I need a hydration
drink that'll pick me up.
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- That's when I need Cred.
- (groans)
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INFLUENCER:
It's the coolest sports drink in the world.
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Cred is 100% sugar-free.
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Cred has electrolytes
so you can ride your bike.
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And also,
Cred has more vitamin A
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than your body
could possibly ever use.
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I can't feel my face.
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Drink Cred
or you're a piece of shit.
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(whoops)
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NARRATOR:
Drink Cred at your school today.
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Hey, guys, I know there's
a lot of influencers out there
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trying to get your attention.
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And I just hope that
you'll maybe take a moment
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to check out what I have to say
here on My OnlyFans page.
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{\an8}I hope you're all doing great,
and if you're watching this PPV,
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{\an8}I hope you'll consider
subscribing.
153
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{\an8}If you want me
to give a shout-out
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{\an8}for your social media,
I can do that.
155
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And if you want a custom,
just let me know
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if there's anything special
you want to see.
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- What the fuck are you doing?
- Oh! Hey, Sharon,
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just supplementing my income.
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Are you serious right now?
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All right, all right,
Sharon, yes,
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I am an OnlyFans model.
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And I'm not ashamed of it.
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Goddamn it, Randy.
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What is with all the stigma
Americans have anyway, huh?
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It's just my penis, Sharon.
It's not a big deal.
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No, it's definitely
not a big deal.
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Okay, good. Thank you.
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All I'm doing
is taking back control
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of my sexuality on a platform
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that I can benefit from
financially.
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So you're just gonna sit here
and jack off
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for four hours a week just
to make a few extra dollars?
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I jack off
two hours a week anyways.
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Now I just do it
a little bit more
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and make enough money to pay
for the increase in gas prices.
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If your children find out
about this,
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they are going to leave home.
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Children aren't allowed
on OnlyFans, Sharon.
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It's totally safe.
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Kids aren't gonna see this.
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(school bell ringing)
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(indistinct chatter)
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Hey, Butters, Tweek,
you guys got a second?
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- For what?
- Okay, you know how, like,
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some kids in this school
really like Cred
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and others just pretend to,
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but really they're posers
like Spencer Hollis?
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Well, I think we should
start a Cred affinity group.
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What's an affinity group?
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It's where you, like,
divide people into groups
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and single them out in order
to make other people feel bad.
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See, it's like
we're the legit Cred drinkers,
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and we should just let
the very coolest kids
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into our affinity group.
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Oh, hey, Clyde.
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00:09:03,470 --> 00:09:05,210
- Where's your Cred?
- Oh, it's just, uh...
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- it's, uh, in my backpack again.
- Oh, that's cool.
198
00:09:08,210 --> 00:09:09,980
You guys think we should let
Clyde into our affinity group?
199
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Yeah, I like Clyde.
200
00:09:11,650 --> 00:09:13,810
Oh, hey, Stan. Do you want
to be in our affinity group?
201
00:09:13,880 --> 00:09:16,250
- What's an affinity group?
- It's like where people separate
202
00:09:16,320 --> 00:09:17,920
into little clubs by, like,
skin color or religious beliefs
203
00:09:17,990 --> 00:09:19,690
and talk about how much better
they are than everyone else.
204
00:09:19,750 --> 00:09:21,360
Usually, white people
can't be in an affinity group,
205
00:09:21,420 --> 00:09:22,890
but it's for a drink,
so they have to let us.
206
00:09:22,960 --> 00:09:24,660
That's not what
an affinity group is.
207
00:09:24,730 --> 00:09:27,030
Uh, yeah, well,
no one's inviting you, Kyle.
208
00:09:27,090 --> 00:09:28,930
'Cause it looks like
you don't even have any Cred.
209
00:09:29,000 --> 00:09:30,800
Yeah, I do, it's in my backpack.
210
00:09:30,870 --> 00:09:33,030
Oh, sure,
it's in his backpack, guys.
211
00:09:33,100 --> 00:09:34,670
Yeah, let's see it, then.
212
00:09:34,740 --> 00:09:37,710
It's right here. We drink
way more Cred than you guys do.
213
00:09:37,770 --> 00:09:40,210
Oh, yeah, right. Tweek drinks
four bottles of Cred
214
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- for breakfast.
- (grunting)
215
00:09:42,780 --> 00:09:44,550
(school bell rings)
216
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I don't want to be a part
of any affinity group.
217
00:09:46,180 --> 00:09:47,580
It just sounds like trouble.
218
00:09:47,650 --> 00:09:49,020
Yeah, well, we don't want you.
219
00:09:49,080 --> 00:09:50,550
'Cause you just pretend
to like Cred
220
00:09:50,620 --> 00:09:51,990
'cause it's a fad right now
221
00:09:52,050 --> 00:09:53,590
like all the other lame-o's
in this school.
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00:09:53,650 --> 00:09:55,220
Hey, guys.
223
00:09:56,160 --> 00:09:57,860
Hey, Clyde, you got a sec?
224
00:09:57,930 --> 00:10:00,330
- For what?
- I was just gonna talk to you about your backpack.
225
00:10:00,390 --> 00:10:02,360
- W-What about my backpack?
- Well, it's just...
226
00:10:02,430 --> 00:10:04,130
You know, it's really best
to have a backpack
227
00:10:04,200 --> 00:10:05,970
that's got a water bottle pouch
to put your Cred in.
228
00:10:06,030 --> 00:10:07,370
See, like, see how
y-you can see, like,
229
00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:09,170
you can see my Cred bottle
from the outside?
230
00:10:09,240 --> 00:10:10,400
You just go like this,
and everyone-everyone
231
00:10:10,470 --> 00:10:11,870
can see your Cred?
You're just like,
232
00:10:11,940 --> 00:10:13,110
"Oh, hey, what's going on?
233
00:10:13,170 --> 00:10:14,040
"Oh, yeah, sweet,
check out my Cred.
234
00:10:14,110 --> 00:10:15,880
It's, like, right here."
235
00:10:15,940 --> 00:10:17,810
Um, well, I-I don't think
236
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I can get a new backpack
till my birthday.
237
00:10:19,510 --> 00:10:21,320
Well, maybe just, like,
use some tape or something
238
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to make your own bottle pouch?
239
00:10:22,850 --> 00:10:24,050
You know, we definitely
don't want you to look
240
00:10:24,120 --> 00:10:25,520
like you don't have any Cred.
241
00:10:25,590 --> 00:10:26,990
(chuckles) All right,
see you in class, brah.
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♪ ♪
243
00:10:40,900 --> 00:10:43,000
RANDY:
Hey, Sharon. Can we talk?
244
00:10:43,070 --> 00:10:44,410
♪ ♪
245
00:10:44,470 --> 00:10:46,370
I feel like there's
a lot bad things going on
246
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in the world, and it gets so
confusing sometimes, you know?
247
00:10:49,640 --> 00:10:53,550
I think, as Americans, we watch
news about things happening
248
00:10:53,610 --> 00:10:56,550
in the Middle East and we just
don't want to get involved.
249
00:10:56,620 --> 00:10:58,690
And I know it can feel like
"What can I do?
250
00:10:58,750 --> 00:11:01,560
I'm not special, how could I
ever make a difference?"
251
00:11:01,620 --> 00:11:04,960
But we can't let ourselves
think like that.
252
00:11:05,030 --> 00:11:07,130
Sometimes what it takes
253
00:11:07,190 --> 00:11:09,730
is just one person
to start a movement.
254
00:11:09,800 --> 00:11:13,570
One person, and then
everyone else might follow.
255
00:11:16,900 --> 00:11:22,380
I am not subscribing
to your OnlyFans page, Randy.
256
00:11:22,440 --> 00:11:25,410
Okay, well, you're a cunt.
257
00:11:28,620 --> 00:11:30,650
(indistinct chatter)
258
00:11:32,820 --> 00:11:34,190
Yeah, that looks good.
259
00:11:34,260 --> 00:11:36,590
Maybe a little higher
on your side, Butters.
260
00:11:37,360 --> 00:11:38,830
Yeah, that's great. I think
everyone can see that now.
261
00:11:38,890 --> 00:11:41,400
That should definitely
make people feel unwelcome.
262
00:11:42,160 --> 00:11:44,400
♪ ♪
263
00:11:59,710 --> 00:12:01,480
(playful chattering)
264
00:12:12,490 --> 00:12:13,990
Hey.
265
00:12:14,060 --> 00:12:15,860
Hey...
266
00:12:15,930 --> 00:12:17,630
What's goin' on?
267
00:12:17,700 --> 00:12:21,470
So... are you, like,
selling Cred?
268
00:12:21,540 --> 00:12:24,040
What? Selling hydration drinks
on school grounds
269
00:12:24,110 --> 00:12:25,710
is against the rules.
270
00:12:25,770 --> 00:12:27,240
Come here, come here.
271
00:12:28,010 --> 00:12:30,580
What the-- Hey, what are you--
What the hell are you doing?
272
00:12:30,640 --> 00:12:33,880
(quietly):
If you're wearing a wire, I will kick your ass.
273
00:12:33,950 --> 00:12:36,480
Bro, I'm not wearing a wire!
Do you have Cred or not?
274
00:12:36,550 --> 00:12:39,420
Sure, I got Cred.
What are ya looking for?
275
00:12:39,490 --> 00:12:42,190
A little...
Watermelon Strawberry?
276
00:12:42,260 --> 00:12:43,360
{\an8}No, no, do you have any ones
277
00:12:43,420 --> 00:12:44,960
{\an8}that don't taste like total ass?
278
00:12:45,030 --> 00:12:46,330
Oh, you want the good shit.
279
00:12:46,390 --> 00:12:48,600
{\an8}I got your Bubblegum Grape
right here.
280
00:12:48,660 --> 00:12:49,930
Okay, how much?
281
00:12:50,000 --> 00:12:51,170
Eighty bucks.
282
00:12:51,230 --> 00:12:53,500
$80? For a shitty
fake-sugar drink?
283
00:12:53,570 --> 00:12:54,870
What do you think
I'm runnin' here,
284
00:12:54,940 --> 00:12:56,640
a fucking charity
for the homeless?
285
00:12:56,700 --> 00:12:58,970
How about some
Oatmeal Nummy Nums?
286
00:12:59,040 --> 00:13:00,840
I can get you into that for $65.
287
00:13:00,910 --> 00:13:04,810
I don't have $65.
What can I get for three bucks?
288
00:13:04,880 --> 00:13:06,580
Three bucks? Oh, sure.
289
00:13:06,650 --> 00:13:08,720
For that, you can get
an empty Cred bottle.
290
00:13:08,780 --> 00:13:11,290
- What good is that gonna do me?
- It's easy.
291
00:13:11,350 --> 00:13:13,420
You just fill
your empty bottle with water,
292
00:13:13,490 --> 00:13:15,120
add a little food coloring.
293
00:13:15,190 --> 00:13:19,330
Everyone thinks you got Cred
when you actually have no Cred.
294
00:13:19,390 --> 00:13:22,500
I'm not giving you three dollars
for just plastic garbage!
295
00:13:22,560 --> 00:13:23,930
Cool thing, man.
296
00:13:24,000 --> 00:13:26,770
You just go back into the school
without any Cred at all.
297
00:13:26,830 --> 00:13:28,640
See how long you last.
298
00:13:29,900 --> 00:13:31,410
Here!
299
00:13:33,270 --> 00:13:35,010
RANDY:
Hey, guys, it's your boy Randy,
300
00:13:35,080 --> 00:13:37,910
and in this video we're doing
authentic pad Thai
301
00:13:37,980 --> 00:13:39,680
for under $6.
302
00:13:39,750 --> 00:13:41,850
Now we're gonna start
with some medium shrimp
303
00:13:41,920 --> 00:13:43,420
and some rice noodles.
304
00:13:43,480 --> 00:13:45,490
For the wet ingredients,
we're looking at a couple eggs,
305
00:13:45,550 --> 00:13:47,120
some fish and also soy sauce.
306
00:13:47,190 --> 00:13:49,220
And then for garnish, we're
gonna do a little cilantro,
307
00:13:49,290 --> 00:13:50,760
green onion, and then of course,
308
00:13:50,820 --> 00:13:53,830
we're gonna top that all off
with some fresh nuts.
309
00:13:53,890 --> 00:13:56,230
Those nuts are gonna give it
that extra bite.
310
00:13:56,300 --> 00:13:57,500
Now, if you like
what you're seeing
311
00:13:57,570 --> 00:13:59,470
be sure to smash
that subscribe button.
312
00:13:59,530 --> 00:14:02,900
- And--
- Get your balls off the table!
313
00:14:02,970 --> 00:14:05,810
Oh, oh, great Sharon
you just ruined the shot!
314
00:14:06,670 --> 00:14:09,080
The guys at the deli wanted me
to say hi, Randy.
315
00:14:09,140 --> 00:14:11,280
They all saw you on OnlyFans.
316
00:14:11,350 --> 00:14:13,080
Really?
Are they gonna subscribe?
317
00:14:13,150 --> 00:14:14,820
No, they're not going
to subscribe.
318
00:14:14,880 --> 00:14:16,980
Nobody's going
to subscribe, Randy.
319
00:14:17,050 --> 00:14:18,920
Will you fucking stop?
320
00:14:18,990 --> 00:14:20,590
This stuff takes time!
321
00:14:20,650 --> 00:14:22,760
You don't just put up a page
and immediately get followers.
322
00:14:22,820 --> 00:14:25,030
You have to support it
with other social media,
323
00:14:25,090 --> 00:14:26,460
have a craft to teach...
324
00:14:26,530 --> 00:14:28,760
Being an influencer
takes time, Sharon!
325
00:14:28,830 --> 00:14:31,000
Oh, so now
you're an influencer?
326
00:14:31,070 --> 00:14:32,930
Yes! I'm an influencer.
327
00:14:33,000 --> 00:14:35,770
Maybe you should see
how it feels, Randy.
328
00:14:35,840 --> 00:14:39,510
Maybe I should go
and do my own OnlyFans.
329
00:14:39,570 --> 00:14:41,680
(chuckling):
What? What?
330
00:14:41,740 --> 00:14:44,040
Yeah, like people are gonna pay
to see your OnlyFans.
331
00:14:44,110 --> 00:14:46,110
I'll make more than you do!
332
00:14:46,180 --> 00:14:48,420
Sharon, being
an influencer is work.
333
00:14:48,480 --> 00:14:50,380
You got to pay for the lighting,
for the sound,
334
00:14:50,450 --> 00:14:51,850
you got to be good at editing!
335
00:14:51,920 --> 00:14:53,190
Okay. Cool, Randy.
336
00:14:53,250 --> 00:14:54,820
I'm gonna go start
an OnlyFans channel.
337
00:14:54,890 --> 00:14:58,390
Ok-okay.
Okay, you go do that, Sharon!
338
00:14:58,460 --> 00:15:01,230
I'm gonna fuckin' do it!
339
00:15:01,300 --> 00:15:04,230
Okay, yeah, go supplement
our income, Shar...
340
00:15:04,300 --> 00:15:06,570
(chuckles weakly)
341
00:15:06,630 --> 00:15:07,770
Sharon?
342
00:15:12,140 --> 00:15:14,380
♪ ♪
343
00:15:32,030 --> 00:15:33,760
You got this day, bro!
344
00:15:33,830 --> 00:15:37,360
You're strong and I'm gonna
keep on making videos for you.
345
00:15:45,310 --> 00:15:47,110
♪ I've got Cred, bitches ♪
346
00:15:47,170 --> 00:15:48,410
♪ I've got Cred ♪
347
00:15:48,480 --> 00:15:50,510
♪ I've got Cred, bitches ♪
348
00:15:50,580 --> 00:15:52,480
♪ I've got Cred. ♪
349
00:15:55,550 --> 00:15:57,420
{\an8}Hey, guys, we're having
a Cred affinity group meeting
350
00:15:57,480 --> 00:15:58,950
{\an8}today at 4:00.
Nobody's allowed but us, okay?
351
00:15:59,020 --> 00:16:00,420
Hey, Jordan.
352
00:16:00,490 --> 00:16:01,720
We're having a meeting today.
You can't come.
353
00:16:01,790 --> 00:16:02,990
Affinity group meeting
today, Sally.
354
00:16:03,060 --> 00:16:04,330
You're not invited.
355
00:16:04,390 --> 00:16:05,590
Well, I think that's just
about everyone.
356
00:16:05,660 --> 00:16:06,860
Tweek, did you tell
Spencer Hollis
357
00:16:06,930 --> 00:16:08,400
he's not allowed
in the affinity group?
358
00:16:08,460 --> 00:16:09,930
Yeah. You told me
to call him last night.
359
00:16:10,000 --> 00:16:11,230
He didn't seem to care.
360
00:16:11,300 --> 00:16:13,530
- Yeah, he cares.
- Oh, there's Clyde!
361
00:16:13,600 --> 00:16:17,370
Hey, Clyde. Look at you
with your nice new backpack.
362
00:16:17,440 --> 00:16:19,140
Oh, uh, yeah.
You guys like it?
363
00:16:19,210 --> 00:16:20,310
Yeah, it's really cool.
364
00:16:20,370 --> 00:16:21,740
You can see your Cred now.
365
00:16:21,810 --> 00:16:23,440
Yeah, it's really nice
the way your Cred is--
366
00:16:23,510 --> 00:16:26,610
Oh, my God! Clyde!
You got Moonrise Mellow?
367
00:16:26,680 --> 00:16:28,720
How the hell did you get
a bottle of Moonrise Mellow?
368
00:16:28,780 --> 00:16:31,550
Oh, it was just, uh,
what my parents gave me today.
369
00:16:31,620 --> 00:16:33,050
You guys,
Moonrise Mellow is, like,
370
00:16:33,120 --> 00:16:34,560
the hardest flavor to get ever.
371
00:16:34,620 --> 00:16:37,490
- Whoa, lucky.
- Yeah, hey, I'm not sharing.
372
00:16:37,560 --> 00:16:40,260
- Hey, Stan. Hey, Stan.
- No, no, dude, wait.
373
00:16:40,330 --> 00:16:42,830
Check out what Clyde has.
Moonrise Mellow.
374
00:16:42,900 --> 00:16:43,860
That's impossible.
375
00:16:43,930 --> 00:16:45,600
(laughs)
Look at their faces.
376
00:16:45,670 --> 00:16:47,230
They're so jealous.
377
00:16:47,300 --> 00:16:48,600
No, it's really impossible.
378
00:16:48,670 --> 00:16:50,340
Moonrise Mellow was
discontinued months ago.
379
00:16:50,400 --> 00:16:53,110
Guess you wish now that you were
in the Cred affinity group.
380
00:16:53,170 --> 00:16:55,910
We told you guys we have better
Cred than anyone at school.
381
00:16:55,980 --> 00:16:57,280
It's probably fake.
382
00:16:57,340 --> 00:16:59,180
{\an8}Oh! Oh, you think
it's fake, huh?
383
00:16:59,250 --> 00:17:01,120
You want to fucking taste it?
384
00:17:01,180 --> 00:17:02,920
(sputters)
What the fuck?
385
00:17:02,980 --> 00:17:04,950
This is fucking apple juice.
Gross!
386
00:17:05,020 --> 00:17:07,960
- Let's see.
- Hey, give it back.
387
00:17:08,020 --> 00:17:10,160
Yeah, it's apple juice.
You guys are posers.
388
00:17:10,220 --> 00:17:11,630
We're not posers!
389
00:17:11,690 --> 00:17:14,400
Hey, guys. Cred affinity group
uses fake Cred.
390
00:17:17,430 --> 00:17:18,670
What the fuck?
391
00:17:18,730 --> 00:17:20,100
What the fuck
have you done, Clyde?
392
00:17:20,170 --> 00:17:21,270
I'm sorry, okay?
393
00:17:21,340 --> 00:17:22,600
Oh, he's sorry.
394
00:17:22,670 --> 00:17:24,300
He faked having Cred,
but he's sorry!
395
00:17:24,370 --> 00:17:27,470
All right, look, my parents
won't let me drink Cred, okay?
396
00:17:27,540 --> 00:17:29,440
They think it's bad for me.
397
00:17:29,510 --> 00:17:31,780
So you never had Cred?
398
00:17:31,850 --> 00:17:32,880
No.
399
00:17:32,950 --> 00:17:34,180
Oh, my God!
400
00:17:34,250 --> 00:17:36,450
We all said you had Cred
in your backpack, Clyde.
401
00:17:36,520 --> 00:17:37,790
We fucking backed you!
402
00:17:37,850 --> 00:17:39,920
What the hell are we gonna do?
403
00:17:39,990 --> 00:17:41,190
Why do you guys care?
404
00:17:41,260 --> 00:17:42,520
I'm the one who doesn't
have any Cred!
405
00:17:42,590 --> 00:17:43,960
That's not how it works, man!
406
00:17:44,020 --> 00:17:45,660
If you don't have Cred,
then everyone around you
407
00:17:45,730 --> 00:17:47,290
loses all their Cred.
408
00:17:47,360 --> 00:17:49,900
We're dead.
We're fuckin' dead.
409
00:17:49,960 --> 00:17:51,500
Word is gonna spread
through the school
410
00:17:51,570 --> 00:17:52,870
that our affinity group
has no Cred
411
00:17:52,930 --> 00:17:54,640
and then we're gonna--
(gags)
412
00:17:55,570 --> 00:17:57,810
(retching)
413
00:17:59,440 --> 00:18:01,410
How could you do this
to us, Clyde?
414
00:18:01,480 --> 00:18:03,380
I'm sorry.
It was all the pressure.
415
00:18:03,440 --> 00:18:05,150
(Cartman retching)
416
00:18:05,210 --> 00:18:07,510
I never even wanted to be
in an affinity group.
417
00:18:07,580 --> 00:18:09,050
Now I'm doomed!
418
00:18:09,120 --> 00:18:11,120
(retching)
419
00:18:11,190 --> 00:18:14,560
SHARON (moaning):
Ooh... oh. Oh, yeah.
420
00:18:14,620 --> 00:18:16,890
- You like that, guys?
- Oh, my God.
421
00:18:16,960 --> 00:18:19,760
- Oh... Oh, God.
- Oh, my God. She did it.
422
00:18:19,830 --> 00:18:22,430
- Mm... Oh, yeah.
- She actually did it.
423
00:18:22,500 --> 00:18:25,100
- She actually got
more subscribers than me. - Ooh, yeah, guys.
424
00:18:25,170 --> 00:18:26,870
Oh, yeah.
425
00:18:26,930 --> 00:18:28,700
Just let me know
if there's anything special
426
00:18:28,770 --> 00:18:30,370
you'd like to see, guys.
427
00:18:30,440 --> 00:18:32,740
- 3,100 subscribers.
- Ooh...
428
00:18:32,810 --> 00:18:34,510
- Oh, oh, yeah...
- How is that possible?
429
00:18:34,580 --> 00:18:36,310
I mean, look at that,
the lighting sucks.
430
00:18:36,380 --> 00:18:37,710
The sound keeps clipping
431
00:18:37,780 --> 00:18:39,810
like she got a microphone
at Walmart or something.
432
00:18:39,880 --> 00:18:42,680
And who's that guy?
He's blocking half the shot.
433
00:18:42,750 --> 00:18:45,290
- Oh, oh, ooh...
- This is total amateur hour!
434
00:18:45,350 --> 00:18:47,550
Thanks for calling
OnlyFans customer support.
435
00:18:47,620 --> 00:18:48,820
How can I help you?
436
00:18:48,890 --> 00:18:51,020
{\an8}Yeah, I just found out
that my wife has
437
00:18:51,090 --> 00:18:52,390
{\an8}an OnlyFans page,
438
00:18:52,460 --> 00:18:54,760
{\an8}and in one day she has
more subscribers than me.
439
00:18:54,830 --> 00:18:57,300
I'm starting to think
this whole thing is rigged.
440
00:18:57,360 --> 00:18:58,870
Well, it is slightly easier
441
00:18:58,930 --> 00:19:01,740
for our female content creators
to find an audience.
442
00:19:01,800 --> 00:19:04,570
Look, my wife can't become
a bigger influencer than me.
443
00:19:04,640 --> 00:19:05,770
I'll never hear the end of it.
444
00:19:05,840 --> 00:19:07,510
Well, sir, have you been trying
445
00:19:07,570 --> 00:19:09,680
the pointers we discussed
to reach a larger audience?
446
00:19:09,740 --> 00:19:11,350
Yes! I added a skill.
447
00:19:11,410 --> 00:19:14,750
I'm advertising my OnlyFans page
with TikTok and Instagram.
448
00:19:14,820 --> 00:19:17,280
What about optimizing
your algorithm?
449
00:19:17,350 --> 00:19:19,620
Oh, um, how do I do that?
450
00:19:19,690 --> 00:19:21,090
No, no, no.
Not with your penis.
451
00:19:21,150 --> 00:19:23,060
See, what a lot
of influencers will do is
452
00:19:23,120 --> 00:19:25,590
they talk about things
and show things in their videos
453
00:19:25,660 --> 00:19:26,760
that are trending.
454
00:19:26,830 --> 00:19:28,460
Then you can hashtag that,
455
00:19:28,530 --> 00:19:30,800
and the search engines will
think your content is trending.
456
00:19:30,860 --> 00:19:34,970
So I... add stuff to my videos
that's popular,
457
00:19:35,040 --> 00:19:37,040
and people will
accidentally go to my page
458
00:19:37,100 --> 00:19:38,870
trying to search
for that popular thing.
459
00:19:38,940 --> 00:19:40,010
Exactly.
460
00:19:40,070 --> 00:19:41,410
That's perfect!
461
00:19:41,480 --> 00:19:45,080
But what's trending most
on the Internet right now?
462
00:19:50,280 --> 00:19:52,790
Oh, hey there, Clyde.
How was school?
463
00:19:52,850 --> 00:19:55,660
You want to know how school was?
464
00:19:55,720 --> 00:19:57,220
It fucking sucked!
465
00:19:57,290 --> 00:19:59,790
{\an8}All I wanted was to have
a little bit of Cred at school,
466
00:19:59,860 --> 00:20:02,330
{\an8}but now I've destroyed it
and everyone hates me!
467
00:20:02,400 --> 00:20:05,800
Oh, Clyde, we're always trying
to do what's best for you.
468
00:20:05,870 --> 00:20:07,830
{\an8}And you shut
the fuck up, Janice!
469
00:20:07,900 --> 00:20:10,800
{\an8}- You are not my mom.
- Clyde!
470
00:20:12,370 --> 00:20:15,040
INFLUENCER:
I seriously can't stand how stupid people are sometimes.
471
00:20:15,110 --> 00:20:17,710
That's why I do
all my pranks and stuff.
472
00:20:18,710 --> 00:20:20,780
Sometimes it's impossible
to stay positive
473
00:20:20,850 --> 00:20:22,220
when everyone sucks so hard.
474
00:20:22,280 --> 00:20:23,920
If you like
what I'm saying in this video,
475
00:20:23,980 --> 00:20:26,050
smash that like button
down below.
476
00:20:26,950 --> 00:20:28,420
You know, the thing is,
477
00:20:28,490 --> 00:20:29,960
when you really feel
the most down,
478
00:20:30,020 --> 00:20:32,330
that's when you got to
fight the hardest, you know?
479
00:20:33,130 --> 00:20:35,960
{\an8}I'm gonna give you 10 tips
to being tougher.
480
00:20:36,030 --> 00:20:38,470
{\an8}But first I want to give
a shout-out to our sponsor
481
00:20:38,530 --> 00:20:40,200
{\an8}Cred hydration drinks!
482
00:20:40,270 --> 00:20:41,670
(exasperated sigh)
483
00:20:41,740 --> 00:20:43,270
Cred gives you all
the energy you need!
484
00:20:43,340 --> 00:20:46,010
And now Cred has an all-new
exclusive flavor.
485
00:20:46,070 --> 00:20:48,540
Introducing new Mega Cred.
486
00:20:48,610 --> 00:20:49,910
It's a super limited edition
487
00:20:49,980 --> 00:20:52,280
only available
to a select few.
488
00:20:52,350 --> 00:20:54,480
And Cred's doing a big giveaway
489
00:20:54,550 --> 00:20:57,920
and maybe these super limited
edition bottles can be yours.
490
00:20:57,990 --> 00:20:59,990
♪ ♪
491
00:21:02,520 --> 00:21:03,860
So I looked it up,
492
00:21:03,920 --> 00:21:05,260
and there's this drink
called Cred
493
00:21:05,330 --> 00:21:07,630
that's the most searched thing
on the internet.
494
00:21:07,690 --> 00:21:09,130
I figured if I can get my hands
495
00:21:09,200 --> 00:21:11,000
on some of the more
hard to get bottles
496
00:21:11,060 --> 00:21:13,900
and put them in my videos,
maybe I'll get more traffic.
497
00:21:13,970 --> 00:21:16,640
Everyone says maybe
you can help me.
498
00:21:18,310 --> 00:21:21,140
Cred? What's Cred?
Never heard of it.
499
00:21:22,180 --> 00:21:24,080
Okay, look,
I'm not wearing a wire.
500
00:21:24,140 --> 00:21:25,650
You want to see?
501
00:21:25,710 --> 00:21:28,350
No, no, I don't want to see!
What the hell is wrong with you?
502
00:21:28,420 --> 00:21:30,420
I'm looking for a lot of Cred.
503
00:21:30,480 --> 00:21:31,850
Maybe I can even get them
504
00:21:31,920 --> 00:21:33,750
to eventually sponsor
my adult web channel.
505
00:21:33,820 --> 00:21:35,060
Oh, okay. Then you'll want
506
00:21:35,120 --> 00:21:36,720
some of the harder stuff
that's marketed
507
00:21:36,790 --> 00:21:38,030
for adults only.
508
00:21:38,090 --> 00:21:40,290
{\an8}Like maybe...
Peppa Pig Peppermint.
509
00:21:40,360 --> 00:21:42,560
That doesn't sound like
it's marketed for adults.
510
00:21:42,630 --> 00:21:46,400
{\an8}Oh, well, maybe you want to try
the I'm a Big Boy Blueberry.
511
00:21:46,470 --> 00:21:48,500
All right, look, just--
How much for the whole bag?
512
00:21:48,570 --> 00:21:50,670
You want my whole bag of Cred?
513
00:21:50,740 --> 00:21:51,970
I want you to supply me
514
00:21:52,040 --> 00:21:54,070
with every bottle of Cred
you can find.
515
00:21:54,140 --> 00:21:57,180
I have to have more subscribers
than my wife.
516
00:22:07,920 --> 00:22:10,360
Eric, sweetie,
are you feeling any better?
517
00:22:11,430 --> 00:22:13,830
No, Mom, I'm dying.
518
00:22:13,890 --> 00:22:16,400
I've been completely
discredited.
519
00:22:17,160 --> 00:22:21,170
Eric, everything is going
to be okay at school tomorrow.
520
00:22:21,230 --> 00:22:22,770
It's too late.
521
00:22:22,840 --> 00:22:24,470
I've already stepped down
as founder and chairman
522
00:22:24,540 --> 00:22:26,010
of my own affinity group.
523
00:22:26,070 --> 00:22:28,710
You'll find my letter of
resignation on the nightstand.
524
00:22:30,980 --> 00:22:32,650
I'm choosing to step down
525
00:22:32,710 --> 00:22:35,750
before all those sick bastards
at school try and force me out.
526
00:22:35,820 --> 00:22:37,950
Well, you need to sit up
for just a minute.
527
00:22:38,020 --> 00:22:39,920
Your little friend Clyde
wants to talk to you.
528
00:22:39,990 --> 00:22:42,660
Clyde? No, no, no, no, no.
Do not let-- Mom!
529
00:22:42,720 --> 00:22:44,760
Do not let Clyde in my--
Aw, goddamn it.
530
00:22:44,830 --> 00:22:46,390
What do you guys want?
531
00:22:46,460 --> 00:22:49,060
Eric, Clyde has an idea
that might save our Cred.
532
00:22:49,860 --> 00:22:52,430
Nothing is going to save
our Cred, you boners.
533
00:22:52,500 --> 00:22:54,070
Will you just listen?
534
00:22:54,130 --> 00:22:56,340
My influencer said there's
gonna be a big Cred promotion
535
00:22:56,400 --> 00:22:57,570
at a CVS in Pueblo.
536
00:22:57,640 --> 00:22:58,970
A promotion, great.
537
00:22:59,040 --> 00:23:00,470
They're gonna sell
a very limited quantity
538
00:23:00,540 --> 00:23:02,880
of an all-new Cred
that nobody's even tried yet.
539
00:23:02,940 --> 00:23:04,880
TWEEK:
So we could ditch school,
540
00:23:04,950 --> 00:23:06,310
find a way to get to Pueblo
541
00:23:06,380 --> 00:23:08,220
and come back with a Cred
nobody else can even get.
542
00:23:08,280 --> 00:23:09,780
We'd have our Cred back.
543
00:23:10,680 --> 00:23:12,690
We followed Clyde before,
you guys,
544
00:23:12,750 --> 00:23:14,490
and it cost us everything.
545
00:23:14,550 --> 00:23:16,060
Look, 50 cases of Cred,
546
00:23:16,120 --> 00:23:17,990
only available tomorrow
200 miles away
547
00:23:18,060 --> 00:23:19,890
and then not available
for another six months.
548
00:23:19,960 --> 00:23:21,360
It's called Mega Cred.
549
00:23:24,770 --> 00:23:26,300
All right, you son of a bitch.
550
00:23:26,370 --> 00:23:29,370
Maybe our affinity group
isn't dead just yet.
551
00:23:34,040 --> 00:23:36,080
Hey, what up, guys?
It's your boy Randy.
552
00:23:36,140 --> 00:23:37,640
In this video,
I'm gonna be trying out
553
00:23:37,710 --> 00:23:40,310
six different flavors
of the newest sports drink.
554
00:23:40,380 --> 00:23:43,180
As you can see, I've got
lots of Cred. Do you like Cred?
555
00:23:43,250 --> 00:23:44,650
If so, leave a comment
down below,
556
00:23:44,720 --> 00:23:46,350
and maybe smash
that like button.
557
00:23:46,420 --> 00:23:48,290
Okay, we're gonna start
with Summer Popsicle.
558
00:23:48,360 --> 00:23:50,020
I guess it's pretty popular.
(sniffs)
559
00:23:50,090 --> 00:23:52,690
Smells okay.
Let's see how good it is.
560
00:23:54,690 --> 00:23:56,360
Ooh. Oh, okay, yeah.
561
00:23:56,430 --> 00:23:57,700
That one's kind of fizzy.
562
00:23:57,760 --> 00:23:59,700
K-Kind of fizzy,
but more on the penis
563
00:23:59,770 --> 00:24:01,070
than it is on them balls.
564
00:24:01,130 --> 00:24:02,570
Yeah, this is really nice.
565
00:24:02,640 --> 00:24:04,340
Oh. Oh, yeah, it looks good.
566
00:24:04,400 --> 00:24:06,310
Yeah, looks delicious.
Oishii.
567
00:24:06,370 --> 00:24:08,840
Hey If you're liking the
content, be sure to subscribe.
568
00:24:08,910 --> 00:24:10,140
Really helps the channel out.
569
00:24:10,210 --> 00:24:11,950
Let's move on
to another flavor now.
570
00:24:12,010 --> 00:24:13,880
This one's called
Purple Snow Globe.
571
00:24:13,950 --> 00:24:15,280
Let's see how it tastes.
572
00:24:15,350 --> 00:24:18,120
Ooh. Oh, yeah.
Yeah, that's a good one.
573
00:24:18,190 --> 00:24:19,720
(chimes)
574
00:24:21,520 --> 00:24:22,920
Oh?
575
00:24:23,720 --> 00:24:24,760
Oh, my God!
576
00:24:24,830 --> 00:24:26,190
Hey, Sharon!
577
00:24:26,260 --> 00:24:28,200
Sharon, you got to see this!
578
00:24:31,000 --> 00:24:32,600
Oh, there you are, Sharon.
579
00:24:32,670 --> 00:24:35,670
Been out shopping with all
the money you made on OnlyFans?
580
00:24:35,740 --> 00:24:38,000
I'm ready to stop
whenever you are.
581
00:24:38,070 --> 00:24:40,170
Oh, ho! Yeah,
I don't think so, Sharon.
582
00:24:40,240 --> 00:24:43,240
I just had a video on TikTok
with 1,000 views
583
00:24:43,310 --> 00:24:45,780
and a video on Meta with 2,000!
584
00:24:45,850 --> 00:24:49,120
That's gonna drive all the
subscribers to my OnlyFans page.
585
00:24:49,180 --> 00:24:52,220
You said my penis wasn't
a big deal, and now look!
586
00:24:52,990 --> 00:24:55,120
What are you doing
to that Cred bottle?
587
00:24:55,190 --> 00:24:57,060
Oh, that's just
a little trend jumping.
588
00:24:57,120 --> 00:25:00,230
Randy, you know who
drinks Cred, right? Children!
589
00:25:00,290 --> 00:25:02,230
No, it's not even
suitable for children.
590
00:25:02,300 --> 00:25:04,200
Okay, this has to stop, Randy.
591
00:25:04,260 --> 00:25:07,470
The only views you're getting on
TikTok and Meta are from kids!
592
00:25:07,530 --> 00:25:09,940
That's not what
the data shows, Sharon.
593
00:25:10,000 --> 00:25:11,300
According to Meta and TikTok,
594
00:25:11,370 --> 00:25:12,940
their audience
is predominately people
595
00:25:13,010 --> 00:25:14,310
over the age of 22.
596
00:25:14,370 --> 00:25:16,410
That means it's not kids
who care about Cred,
597
00:25:16,480 --> 00:25:19,410
it's adults
who want to see my dick.
598
00:25:20,180 --> 00:25:23,020
Randy, please.
Let's just call it a tie, okay?
599
00:25:23,080 --> 00:25:25,220
Oh, I bet you'd love that now.
600
00:25:25,290 --> 00:25:29,060
Now that my OnlyFans is
about to be bigger than yours.
601
00:25:29,120 --> 00:25:31,890
I'm gonna beat your ass, honey!
602
00:25:35,900 --> 00:25:38,160
(brakes hiss)
603
00:25:39,500 --> 00:25:40,930
{\an8}Oh, Jesus, now it looks
like they're doing
604
00:25:41,000 --> 00:25:42,870
{\an8}a two-bottle max per person.
605
00:25:42,940 --> 00:25:45,740
{\an8}O-Okay, so two bottles each.
That means we'll have eight.
606
00:25:45,810 --> 00:25:47,770
{\an8}- Is that enough Cred?
- Oh, my God.
607
00:25:47,840 --> 00:25:49,080
{\an8}No!
608
00:25:49,140 --> 00:25:51,140
(chanting): We want Cred!
We want Cred!
609
00:25:51,210 --> 00:25:54,710
We want Cred! We want Cred!
610
00:25:54,780 --> 00:25:56,480
Dude, there's like
2,000 kids here.
611
00:25:56,550 --> 00:25:58,080
Don't these losers have
anything better to do
612
00:25:58,150 --> 00:25:59,590
than fight over a shitty drink?
613
00:25:59,650 --> 00:26:01,390
Come on, we gotta make our way
to the front.
614
00:26:01,450 --> 00:26:04,790
Tom, I'm standing
outside the CVS in Pueblo
615
00:26:04,860 --> 00:26:08,190
where thousands of children
have shown up to get some Cred.
616
00:26:08,260 --> 00:26:10,030
{\an8}The fake sugar hydration drink
617
00:26:10,100 --> 00:26:12,300
{\an8}is considered
not suitable for children
618
00:26:12,370 --> 00:26:14,200
{\an8}and yet kids
are literally fighting
619
00:26:14,270 --> 00:26:16,800
{\an8}to get their hands
on this limited edition.
620
00:26:16,870 --> 00:26:20,610
{\an8}I'll be covering the whole thing
live here on my OnlyFans page.
621
00:26:20,670 --> 00:26:23,940
{\an8}Just DM me if there's anything
custom you'd like to see.
622
00:26:24,010 --> 00:26:25,580
Dude, this is fucking crazy!
623
00:26:25,650 --> 00:26:27,880
There's never gonna be
enough Cred for everybody!
624
00:26:27,950 --> 00:26:30,780
Oh, my God. No. No!
625
00:26:30,850 --> 00:26:32,590
It's fucking Spencer Hollis.
626
00:26:32,650 --> 00:26:34,650
Hey, stop pushing, kid.
627
00:26:34,720 --> 00:26:36,890
What's he doing here,
that dirty son a bitch?
628
00:26:36,960 --> 00:26:38,430
He fucking ditched school
to come get Cred
629
00:26:38,490 --> 00:26:40,930
and he doesn't even like it!
He's a fucking poser!
630
00:26:40,990 --> 00:26:45,670
We want Cred! We want Cred!
We want Cred!
631
00:26:45,730 --> 00:26:48,070
{\an8}The delivery truck!
632
00:26:48,130 --> 00:26:51,170
(screaming)
633
00:26:52,340 --> 00:26:53,370
Ah!
634
00:26:53,440 --> 00:26:55,080
- Ah! Get away!
- Give me Cred!
635
00:26:55,140 --> 00:26:57,880
You're all a bunch
of animals! Ah!
636
00:26:57,940 --> 00:26:59,680
Cred! Give me the Cred!
637
00:26:59,750 --> 00:27:01,080
I got to have Cred!
638
00:27:01,150 --> 00:27:04,680
We want Cred! We want Cred!
639
00:27:04,750 --> 00:27:07,150
Okay, go, go, go!
640
00:27:08,050 --> 00:27:09,320
Okay, okay, it's here,
you bastards.
641
00:27:09,390 --> 00:27:10,860
- Come in and-- Ah!
- I was here--
642
00:27:10,920 --> 00:27:13,360
Tweek's not gonna make it,
you guys.
643
00:27:13,430 --> 00:27:14,890
(screaming)
644
00:27:14,960 --> 00:27:18,030
- Where is it?
- Where's the Cred?
645
00:27:18,100 --> 00:27:20,000
(screaming)
646
00:27:20,070 --> 00:27:21,570
It's over there!
647
00:27:21,630 --> 00:27:22,940
Give me Cred!
648
00:27:23,000 --> 00:27:25,570
Me first! Me first!
649
00:27:27,610 --> 00:27:29,210
Give me the Cred!
650
00:27:31,640 --> 00:27:33,110
Ah! Ah!
651
00:27:33,180 --> 00:27:35,880
There's some, right there! Ah!
652
00:27:35,950 --> 00:27:38,150
It's gone! It's all gone!
653
00:27:38,220 --> 00:27:41,020
(easy listening music playing)
654
00:27:43,020 --> 00:27:44,690
Mom!
655
00:27:45,730 --> 00:27:46,830
Spencer?
656
00:27:46,890 --> 00:27:49,400
Start the car! Start the car!
657
00:27:49,460 --> 00:27:51,200
Jesus Christ!
658
00:27:51,260 --> 00:27:53,330
Start the fucking car, Mom!
659
00:27:53,400 --> 00:27:55,570
Spencer's getting away
with the Cred!
660
00:27:55,640 --> 00:27:57,070
(engine revving)
661
00:27:57,140 --> 00:27:58,610
(tires squeal)
662
00:27:59,570 --> 00:28:01,610
No!
663
00:28:02,410 --> 00:28:05,480
Well, these are extremely
impressive numbers.
664
00:28:05,550 --> 00:28:08,480
It looks like your content's
getting a lot of views online.
665
00:28:08,550 --> 00:28:09,780
Yeah, thanks.
666
00:28:09,850 --> 00:28:11,380
But you see,
what I'm trying to learn now
667
00:28:11,450 --> 00:28:13,320
is how to take
all the views I'm getting
668
00:28:13,390 --> 00:28:15,690
on like Instagram and stuff
and use them
669
00:28:15,760 --> 00:28:17,220
to make myself bigger.
670
00:28:17,290 --> 00:28:19,060
Well, we can help you with that.
671
00:28:19,130 --> 00:28:20,160
You know, to really succeed,
672
00:28:20,230 --> 00:28:21,660
you gotta ask yourself:
673
00:28:21,730 --> 00:28:24,800
What is it that you want
to achieve as an influencer?
674
00:28:24,860 --> 00:28:27,630
Well, what I really want to do
675
00:28:27,700 --> 00:28:29,440
is beat my wife.
676
00:28:32,410 --> 00:28:33,970
You want to beat your wife?
677
00:28:34,040 --> 00:28:35,840
I mean, don't we all?
678
00:28:35,910 --> 00:28:37,240
I-I don't understand,
679
00:28:37,310 --> 00:28:39,780
you want to beat your wife
on Instagram?
680
00:28:39,850 --> 00:28:41,180
I want to beat her on Instagram,
681
00:28:41,250 --> 00:28:42,780
I want to beat her on TikTok,
682
00:28:42,850 --> 00:28:45,650
but mostly I want to beat
the shit out of her on OnlyFans
683
00:28:45,720 --> 00:28:47,390
and make a lot
of money doing it.
684
00:28:47,450 --> 00:28:50,460
Hmm. Okay, well, if you can
get the kids to watch
685
00:28:50,520 --> 00:28:52,230
then we can find you a sponsor.
686
00:28:52,290 --> 00:28:54,660
Organizations will do anything
to reach kids these days.
687
00:28:54,730 --> 00:28:56,600
Oh, yeah, yeah,
but, see, my content
688
00:28:56,660 --> 00:28:58,870
actually isn't suitable
for children.
689
00:28:58,930 --> 00:29:00,870
Right. I mean, the data shows
690
00:29:00,930 --> 00:29:03,640
kids aren't the main audience
for any of this stuff, right?
691
00:29:03,700 --> 00:29:06,510
- Right.
- Right.
692
00:29:06,570 --> 00:29:09,680
Mr. Marsh, the thing is,
a sponsor not only gets you cash
693
00:29:09,740 --> 00:29:12,310
but they also help
you push that algorithm
694
00:29:12,380 --> 00:29:14,650
so that their message
is heard through you.
695
00:29:14,710 --> 00:29:16,120
Oh, really?
696
00:29:16,180 --> 00:29:17,720
Yeah, there's gonna be
a lot of companies
697
00:29:17,780 --> 00:29:20,550
that want to pay you to show
your videos to "not kids."
698
00:29:20,620 --> 00:29:22,560
But what we want to do
is get these sponsors
699
00:29:22,620 --> 00:29:24,690
to bid against each other
for your audience.
700
00:29:24,760 --> 00:29:26,990
That's when you become
a big influencer.
701
00:29:27,060 --> 00:29:30,000
And then you can beat
your wife as much as you want.
702
00:29:30,060 --> 00:29:32,400
Wow.
703
00:30:00,760 --> 00:30:02,700
(fire crackling)
704
00:30:21,680 --> 00:30:22,820
There's nothing.
705
00:30:22,880 --> 00:30:24,450
Just two more
broken Cred bottles.
706
00:30:24,520 --> 00:30:27,090
And a couple of cans
of SpaghettiOs.
707
00:30:31,990 --> 00:30:33,830
I don't think I can go back.
708
00:30:33,890 --> 00:30:35,700
Go back to what?
709
00:30:35,760 --> 00:30:37,860
Spencer Hollis
has all the Cred now.
710
00:30:37,930 --> 00:30:40,300
Tomorrow, he'll start
his own affinity group
711
00:30:40,370 --> 00:30:42,300
and not let any of us in.
712
00:30:42,370 --> 00:30:45,270
Don't you guys think
this is all fucked up?
713
00:30:45,340 --> 00:30:47,670
Yeah, fucked up 'cause of you.
714
00:30:47,740 --> 00:30:49,810
No, I mean what
they're doing to us.
715
00:30:49,880 --> 00:30:52,810
Look at this. My influencer
told me to come down here.
716
00:30:52,880 --> 00:30:54,550
He knew there wasn't gonna
be enough Cred for everyone.
717
00:30:54,610 --> 00:30:56,220
It's like--
It's like they wanted to create
718
00:30:56,280 --> 00:30:59,350
this false scarcity.
Give all us kids FOMO.
719
00:30:59,420 --> 00:31:02,090
If anyone's a FOMO,
Clyde, it's you.
720
00:31:02,160 --> 00:31:05,290
You guys aren't listening.
We've been manipulated.
721
00:31:05,360 --> 00:31:07,190
If kids are willing to fight
and die over this,
722
00:31:07,260 --> 00:31:09,500
then what else would they be
willing to fight and die over?
723
00:31:09,560 --> 00:31:11,700
Nobody in school cared
about hydration drinks
724
00:31:11,760 --> 00:31:13,070
three weeks ago.
725
00:31:13,130 --> 00:31:15,570
My influencer convinced me
to come down here.
726
00:31:15,640 --> 00:31:18,100
What else is
he convincing me to do?
727
00:31:18,170 --> 00:31:20,810
So, maybe if we find
your influencer,
728
00:31:20,870 --> 00:31:22,040
then he can give us Cred?
729
00:31:22,110 --> 00:31:23,310
No!
730
00:31:23,380 --> 00:31:25,280
No, no, no.
I like your angle, Clyde.
731
00:31:25,350 --> 00:31:26,950
Maybe this whole thing
is a sham.
732
00:31:27,010 --> 00:31:28,880
If we can make
the whole thing look stupid,
733
00:31:28,950 --> 00:31:30,680
then we make a Cred
affinity group look stupid.
734
00:31:30,750 --> 00:31:32,850
Then Spencer Hollis will
have nothing to keep us out of.
735
00:31:32,920 --> 00:31:35,520
I just know there's more
to all this than we think.
736
00:31:35,590 --> 00:31:37,620
I know what town
my influencer lives in.
737
00:31:37,690 --> 00:31:39,730
I want some goddamn answers.
738
00:31:39,790 --> 00:31:41,160
Tweek, Butters,
739
00:31:41,230 --> 00:31:42,760
gather up all the Pop-Tarts
and SpaghettiOs you can.
740
00:31:42,830 --> 00:31:45,900
We move out at
oh-ninety-two-hundred.
741
00:31:54,040 --> 00:31:55,510
Can I help you?
742
00:31:55,580 --> 00:31:57,410
Yeah, hi, I'm a big influencer?
743
00:31:57,480 --> 00:32:00,410
My agent sent me here
to find a sponsor?
744
00:32:00,480 --> 00:32:03,320
- Name.
- Uh, Randy Marsh?
745
00:32:03,380 --> 00:32:05,050
It's with five Rs
because there was already
746
00:32:05,120 --> 00:32:07,320
a Randy Marsh on TikTok.
747
00:32:07,390 --> 00:32:08,920
Put this around your neck.
Through that door
748
00:32:08,990 --> 00:32:10,820
and wait with
the other influencers.
749
00:32:10,890 --> 00:32:12,360
Oh, okay, thanks.
750
00:32:15,760 --> 00:32:17,700
Okay, influencers, follow me,
751
00:32:17,760 --> 00:32:19,570
stand in a straight line
and step forward
752
00:32:19,630 --> 00:32:21,630
when your number is called.
753
00:32:26,710 --> 00:32:28,210
Thank you, ladies and gentlemen.
754
00:32:28,270 --> 00:32:30,310
We have some incredible
influencers available today.
755
00:32:30,380 --> 00:32:32,380
They are all
complete freelancers
756
00:32:32,450 --> 00:32:34,380
and looking for sponsors.
757
00:32:34,450 --> 00:32:37,880
First off, we have
influencer number 394
758
00:32:37,950 --> 00:32:39,350
This is BlinkyBlankyGirl.
759
00:32:39,420 --> 00:32:41,390
She has over 10,000 views
on Instagram,
760
00:32:41,450 --> 00:32:43,260
6,800 on TikTok
761
00:32:43,320 --> 00:32:45,190
and is up-and-coming
on Meta and X.
762
00:32:45,260 --> 00:32:46,690
Who would like to own
this influencer?
763
00:32:46,760 --> 00:32:48,960
We'll start the bidding at 20.
20, do I hear 20?
764
00:32:49,030 --> 00:32:50,560
There's 20. Do I hear 25, 25?
765
00:32:50,630 --> 00:32:54,030
Let's hear 25, 25, 30.
(gibberish)
766
00:32:54,100 --> 00:32:55,500
25 from Mattel Toys.
767
00:32:55,570 --> 00:32:57,470
Mattel Toys now
the highest bidder at 25.
768
00:32:57,540 --> 00:33:01,740
25, who's gonna go for 30?
30, 30. (gibberish)
769
00:33:01,810 --> 00:33:03,840
30! 30 from Lunchables!
Let's go 50.
770
00:33:03,910 --> 00:33:05,350
50 now, who wants
the influencer?
771
00:33:05,410 --> 00:33:07,850
- 50, 50. (gibberish)
- 100!
772
00:33:07,910 --> 00:33:11,350
100! 100 from the Chinese
government! Can we go 150?
773
00:33:11,420 --> 00:33:13,720
150? (gibberish)
774
00:33:13,790 --> 00:33:15,590
150, 150, yes!
775
00:33:15,660 --> 00:33:17,360
Stoli Vodka at 150.
776
00:33:17,420 --> 00:33:19,030
150, the current bid
from Stoli Vodka.
777
00:33:19,090 --> 00:33:20,430
What about you, Build-A-Bear?
778
00:33:20,490 --> 00:33:23,930
Do we hear from Build-A-Bear?
(gibberish)
779
00:33:24,000 --> 00:33:27,400
160! 160 from the NRA,
outbidding Stoli Vodka.
780
00:33:27,470 --> 00:33:29,740
Who wants to influence
the youngins more?
781
00:33:29,800 --> 00:33:31,470
(gibberish)
782
00:33:31,540 --> 00:33:33,470
{\an8}170 from Voices for Ukraine.
783
00:33:33,540 --> 00:33:35,270
{\an8}Don't let them
outbid you, Russia.
784
00:33:35,340 --> 00:33:37,440
{\an8}No? Chinese government? No?
785
00:33:37,510 --> 00:33:40,650
Sold to Voices for Ukraine.
Thank you.
786
00:33:40,710 --> 00:33:43,420
I don't understand
what happened.
787
00:33:43,480 --> 00:33:44,720
Just keep making
your stupid videos,
788
00:33:44,780 --> 00:33:46,150
they'll tell you what to say.
789
00:33:46,220 --> 00:33:49,090
Okay, next up we have
influencer number 226.
790
00:33:49,160 --> 00:33:51,920
This is Kevinlovesoranges.
791
00:33:51,990 --> 00:33:55,360
Over six million views
on TikTok, 4,600 on Instagram
792
00:33:55,430 --> 00:33:57,230
and a small following
on X and Meta.
793
00:33:57,300 --> 00:34:00,030
Who wants Kevinlovesoranges
to push their agenda?
794
00:34:00,100 --> 00:34:02,940
We'll start at 40, 40.
China in at 40, China at 40.
795
00:34:03,000 --> 00:34:06,310
Who's gonna go 50?
Russia with 50. (gibberish)
796
00:34:06,370 --> 00:34:08,670
55, 60, Big Pharma at 60.
797
00:34:08,740 --> 00:34:10,440
60. (gibberish)
Kellogg's Cereal.
798
00:34:10,510 --> 00:34:11,840
(gibberish) Ravenclaw Casinos.
799
00:34:11,910 --> 00:34:13,350
(gibberish)
Influence the children.
800
00:34:13,410 --> 00:34:15,750
Can I hear 70? Last call for 70.
801
00:34:15,820 --> 00:34:17,050
(gibberish)
802
00:34:17,120 --> 00:34:20,050
{\an8}Sold to the Canadian government,
congratulations.
803
00:34:20,120 --> 00:34:22,890
Our next influencer, number 427.
804
00:34:22,960 --> 00:34:25,260
This is Randy Marrrrrsh.
805
00:34:25,320 --> 00:34:28,230
We'll start the bidding at 50.
50, do I hear 50? 50?
806
00:34:28,290 --> 00:34:30,830
(gibberish)
807
00:34:30,900 --> 00:34:33,630
(gibberish slows)
808
00:34:33,700 --> 00:34:35,940
50? No? Come on, Mattel Toys.
Let's hear from you.
809
00:34:36,000 --> 00:34:37,740
How about 40? 40?
810
00:34:37,800 --> 00:34:39,070
How about 40, let's do 40?
811
00:34:39,140 --> 00:34:41,310
(gibberish)
812
00:34:41,370 --> 00:34:43,580
(gibberish slows)
813
00:34:44,510 --> 00:34:46,610
FBI AGENT:
Freeze! Nobody move!
814
00:34:48,250 --> 00:34:50,380
(people screaming)
815
00:34:53,390 --> 00:34:54,320
Up here! He's up here!
816
00:34:54,390 --> 00:34:56,490
Are you Randy Marrrrrsh?
817
00:34:56,560 --> 00:34:58,490
- Yeah?
- All right, we got him.
818
00:34:58,560 --> 00:34:59,690
Hands behind your back.
819
00:34:59,760 --> 00:35:01,360
Me? I didn't do anything.
820
00:35:01,430 --> 00:35:03,700
I'm just trying
to beat my wife. (chokes)
821
00:35:03,760 --> 00:35:06,930
On your knees!
Hands behind your back now!
822
00:35:07,730 --> 00:35:09,700
(knocking on door)
823
00:35:10,570 --> 00:35:12,910
{\an8}Hello? Logan LaDouche?
824
00:35:12,970 --> 00:35:16,140
{\an8}- Hello? We know you're in there.
- (lock clicks)
825
00:35:18,810 --> 00:35:21,450
Go away.
I'm in enough trouble as it is.
826
00:35:21,510 --> 00:35:23,380
Look, dude, we just want
to talk to you, okay?
827
00:35:23,450 --> 00:35:25,350
No, not okay. I'm in hiding.
828
00:35:25,420 --> 00:35:26,950
How did you guys find me?
829
00:35:27,020 --> 00:35:28,750
Dude, if you're in hiding,
you shouldn't probably post
830
00:35:28,820 --> 00:35:30,960
videos of yourself
at the motel you're hiding in.
831
00:35:31,020 --> 00:35:34,690
Shit. Shit,
I just can't help myself.
832
00:35:37,900 --> 00:35:40,630
{\an8}Brah, we need to know
the truth about Cred.
833
00:35:40,700 --> 00:35:44,070
I'm sorry, okay?
I didn't mean to cause a riot.
834
00:35:44,140 --> 00:35:46,270
Did Cred want us all
to kill each other?
835
00:35:47,170 --> 00:35:50,480
If you found me,
then so can they. Just go.
836
00:35:50,540 --> 00:35:52,510
{\an8}Okay, okay, fine,
Mr. Influencer,
837
00:35:52,580 --> 00:35:54,750
{\an8}we'll leave.
(shouts)
838
00:35:54,810 --> 00:35:57,380
{\an8}- Yeah.
- (shouts) What the fuck are you doing?
839
00:35:57,450 --> 00:35:59,190
{\an8}Where's the Cred?
You got some Cred?
840
00:35:59,250 --> 00:36:00,620
{\an8}Butters, Butters, calm down.
841
00:36:00,690 --> 00:36:02,260
They're gonna take me out, man.
842
00:36:02,320 --> 00:36:05,090
I should just turn myself in.
I'll be safer in jail.
843
00:36:05,160 --> 00:36:07,260
Listen, dude, I went to Pueblo
'cause of you.
844
00:36:07,330 --> 00:36:08,960
Why did you tell us
we could get Mega Cred
845
00:36:09,030 --> 00:36:10,530
when you knew
there wasn't enough?
846
00:36:10,600 --> 00:36:12,670
Brah, I don't even
drink that crap.
847
00:36:12,730 --> 00:36:14,200
Don't you get it, man?
848
00:36:14,270 --> 00:36:16,940
I'm just this tiny little piece
of a very big lie.
849
00:36:17,000 --> 00:36:19,040
You guys are all
being manipulated.
850
00:36:19,110 --> 00:36:21,240
I trusted you.
I've watched all your videos,
851
00:36:21,310 --> 00:36:23,510
and you told me to be strong
and never give up.
852
00:36:23,580 --> 00:36:25,480
That's all just Cred
messing with me?
853
00:36:25,550 --> 00:36:27,980
Don't you get it?
I don't work for Cred.
854
00:36:28,050 --> 00:36:30,580
The Cred is just there
to get views, man.
855
00:36:30,650 --> 00:36:32,250
'Cause kids love it so much.
856
00:36:32,320 --> 00:36:35,190
But if Cred isn't your sponsor,
then-then who is?
857
00:36:35,250 --> 00:36:38,790
If you knew,
it would make you sick.
858
00:36:39,760 --> 00:36:42,400
They just use you and Cred
to get to us,
859
00:36:42,460 --> 00:36:44,060
and those higher-up people
860
00:36:44,130 --> 00:36:45,930
can get us
some limited-edition Cred?
861
00:36:46,000 --> 00:36:48,940
- Who has the Cred?
- Butters, Jesus.
862
00:36:53,570 --> 00:36:55,370
RANDY:
Oh, there-there she is.
863
00:36:55,440 --> 00:36:57,110
Hey, Sharon.
864
00:36:57,180 --> 00:36:58,680
This is my wife, Sharon.
865
00:36:58,740 --> 00:37:00,910
She's an OnlyFans model
just like me.
866
00:37:00,980 --> 00:37:03,850
We are both legally
supplementing our income.
867
00:37:03,920 --> 00:37:06,220
So you work
with your husband, ma'am?
868
00:37:06,290 --> 00:37:08,890
No, we have very different
OnlyFans accounts.
869
00:37:08,960 --> 00:37:10,890
I could never do what he does.
870
00:37:10,960 --> 00:37:12,990
Thanks, honey, it's nice for you
to finally admit it.
871
00:37:13,060 --> 00:37:15,660
Now I'd like to know
what I'm being detained for.
872
00:37:15,730 --> 00:37:17,530
Exposing children
to pornography,
873
00:37:17,600 --> 00:37:19,230
soliciting nude images
to a minor,
874
00:37:19,300 --> 00:37:20,570
child endangerment...
875
00:37:20,630 --> 00:37:22,340
Oh, come on, like it's just me?
876
00:37:22,400 --> 00:37:23,900
Everybody's doing it.
877
00:37:23,970 --> 00:37:26,170
There's an entire network
where everyone just pretends
878
00:37:26,240 --> 00:37:28,040
Internet platforms
aren't made for children
879
00:37:28,110 --> 00:37:31,180
but they all auction our kids
to the highest bidder.
880
00:37:32,210 --> 00:37:35,820
You seem like some kind of
influencer expert.
881
00:37:35,880 --> 00:37:37,980
Would you say these things
on record?
882
00:37:38,050 --> 00:37:39,890
No, 'cause
I'm a sovereign citizen,
883
00:37:39,950 --> 00:37:42,520
and I don't need to tell you
anything. (blows raspberry)
884
00:37:42,590 --> 00:37:45,660
- Randy, you need to cooperate.
- Why?
885
00:37:45,730 --> 00:37:48,030
I'll tell you why, scumbag.
886
00:37:48,090 --> 00:37:50,500
Your posts drew in
a lot of children,
887
00:37:50,560 --> 00:37:52,470
and they like to copy
what they see.
888
00:37:52,530 --> 00:37:56,340
So then kids started creating
their own erotic content
889
00:37:56,400 --> 00:37:58,270
based on yours.
890
00:37:58,340 --> 00:38:00,340
♪ ♪
891
00:38:00,410 --> 00:38:02,140
- What?
- That's right.
892
00:38:02,210 --> 00:38:05,010
We've just found
sexuality explicit,
893
00:38:05,080 --> 00:38:08,250
pornographic images of minors.
894
00:38:08,310 --> 00:38:10,950
I warn you,
what you are about to see
895
00:38:11,020 --> 00:38:14,420
is extremely disturbing
and graphic.
896
00:38:14,490 --> 00:38:16,720
♪ ♪
897
00:38:26,330 --> 00:38:29,500
Oh, God. Ugh.
898
00:38:29,570 --> 00:38:31,070
Oh, don't close your eyes now.
899
00:38:31,140 --> 00:38:34,210
You think these miners deserved
to be treated like this?
900
00:38:44,780 --> 00:38:47,920
What have I done? I had no idea.
901
00:38:47,990 --> 00:38:51,090
Randy, you knew kids were
watching your content.
902
00:38:51,160 --> 00:38:53,730
Yeah, but I never knew
it would lead to...
903
00:38:53,790 --> 00:38:55,930
pornographic images of miners.
904
00:38:56,000 --> 00:38:57,930
God, it's disgusting.
905
00:38:58,000 --> 00:39:00,970
Being an influencer
is disgusting.
906
00:39:01,030 --> 00:39:03,500
All right, I'm gonna tell you
everything I know
907
00:39:03,570 --> 00:39:05,540
about how the system works.
908
00:39:05,600 --> 00:39:07,210
This has to stop.
909
00:39:08,140 --> 00:39:09,440
Hey, what's up, guys?
910
00:39:09,510 --> 00:39:11,040
Just wanted to let you all know
that I think
911
00:39:11,110 --> 00:39:12,510
maybe I'm gonna get killed
or arrested,
912
00:39:12,580 --> 00:39:14,450
so I'm hiding out
in this motel room.
913
00:39:14,510 --> 00:39:17,080
Be sure to like and subscribe.
It really helps the channel out.
914
00:39:17,150 --> 00:39:18,950
{\an8}Dude, will you stop
making videos?
915
00:39:19,020 --> 00:39:20,990
I don't know what else
to do, okay?
916
00:39:21,050 --> 00:39:23,720
All I've ever done
is make fucking videos.
917
00:39:23,790 --> 00:39:25,590
But for who?
You said it wasn't for Cred,
918
00:39:25,660 --> 00:39:27,130
so then who sponsors you?
919
00:39:27,190 --> 00:39:29,230
LOGAN:
I just wanted to be a big influencer.
920
00:39:29,300 --> 00:39:31,560
So I got put on this stage
and I was auctioned off
921
00:39:31,630 --> 00:39:33,170
to the highest bidder.
922
00:39:33,230 --> 00:39:36,140
People will pay anything to push
their agenda on you guys.
923
00:39:36,200 --> 00:39:38,400
What, you mean, like, the
Chinese government or something?
924
00:39:38,470 --> 00:39:41,310
I'm sponsored by people worse
than the Chinese government.
925
00:39:41,370 --> 00:39:43,910
I can't tell you who they are,
because then the companies
926
00:39:43,980 --> 00:39:46,310
that run the whole system
will have me killed.
927
00:39:46,380 --> 00:39:48,350
We deserve to know
who's been manipulating us.
928
00:39:48,410 --> 00:39:51,750
Tell us the truth and we'll
make sure you're safe, okay?
929
00:39:52,550 --> 00:39:54,090
You promise?
930
00:39:54,150 --> 00:39:56,490
Yes, we promise.
931
00:39:56,560 --> 00:39:58,190
Fine.
932
00:39:58,260 --> 00:40:00,960
The truth is,
I'm being paid by...
933
00:40:01,030 --> 00:40:03,300
- (gunshot)
- (grunts)
934
00:40:03,360 --> 00:40:05,100
{\an8}Whoops!
935
00:40:07,800 --> 00:40:09,400
{\an8}- (screams)
- Okay, okay.
936
00:40:09,470 --> 00:40:12,070
{\an8}We don't care who's trying
to influence us!
937
00:40:12,870 --> 00:40:15,710
(sirens wailing)
938
00:40:15,780 --> 00:40:18,010
(tires screeching)
939
00:40:18,080 --> 00:40:19,380
The game is up, scumbag.
940
00:40:19,450 --> 00:40:21,980
We know about
the whole operation.
941
00:40:24,420 --> 00:40:26,150
- (megaphone static)
- We know everything.
942
00:40:26,220 --> 00:40:28,850
The influencers are being paid
by organizations
943
00:40:28,920 --> 00:40:32,020
to knowingly influence children.
944
00:40:33,730 --> 00:40:35,490
- (megaphone static)
- ASSASSIN: The data shows that consumers
945
00:40:35,560 --> 00:40:39,830
of social media platforms are
predominately adults over 21.
946
00:40:39,900 --> 00:40:41,300
Oh, come on.
947
00:40:41,370 --> 00:40:43,400
Within tech companies,
it's an open secret
948
00:40:43,470 --> 00:40:47,640
that millions of users are
actually under the age of 13.
949
00:40:47,710 --> 00:40:49,940
ASSASSIN:
Tech companies are working diligently
950
00:40:50,010 --> 00:40:52,240
to find ways to make
the Internet safer for children,
951
00:40:52,310 --> 00:40:53,880
but these methods
are often criticized
952
00:40:53,950 --> 00:40:56,080
for violating free speech.
953
00:40:56,150 --> 00:40:59,750
Okay, and tech companies
use those assertions
954
00:40:59,820 --> 00:41:03,920
and their endless cash to keep
regulations tied up in court
955
00:41:03,990 --> 00:41:07,930
so they can continue
to profit off of our kids.
956
00:41:07,990 --> 00:41:09,930
(megaphone static)
957
00:41:10,000 --> 00:41:13,900
Okay, well, you'll never
take me alive, copper.
958
00:41:15,800 --> 00:41:17,370
(shouts)
959
00:41:20,570 --> 00:41:24,180
He's still alive.
Let's get City General out here.
960
00:41:27,410 --> 00:41:31,050
Who do you work for?
Who's trying to influence me?
961
00:41:33,650 --> 00:41:34,750
(grunts)
962
00:41:34,820 --> 00:41:37,060
(babbles)
963
00:41:38,790 --> 00:41:40,360
He's just the middleman, kids.
964
00:41:40,430 --> 00:41:44,260
Whoever was trying to influence
you is still a mystery.
965
00:41:49,570 --> 00:41:51,240
(brakes hiss)
966
00:41:58,240 --> 00:42:00,550
{\an8}Hey, fellas, I got an idea.
967
00:42:00,610 --> 00:42:03,020
{\an8}How about we just keep
our affinity group,
968
00:42:03,080 --> 00:42:04,580
{\an8}but instead of it being
about Cred,
969
00:42:04,650 --> 00:42:07,690
{\an8}it's just about how proud we are
of who we are.
970
00:42:07,750 --> 00:42:10,020
{\an8}No, they won't let us do that,
Butters, 'cause we're white.
971
00:42:10,090 --> 00:42:11,390
{\an8}White people can't be in groups
talking about
972
00:42:11,460 --> 00:42:13,460
{\an8}how proud they are,
it doesn't fly.
973
00:42:13,530 --> 00:42:14,860
{\an8}Dang it.
974
00:42:14,930 --> 00:42:16,730
{\an8}Well, then, I guess
we just got to accept
975
00:42:16,800 --> 00:42:18,460
{\an8}that we're gonna
go to school tomorrow
976
00:42:18,530 --> 00:42:20,330
{\an8}and get totally boned.
977
00:42:20,400 --> 00:42:21,670
{\an8}Yep.
978
00:42:21,730 --> 00:42:23,100
{\an8}(thudding)
979
00:42:23,170 --> 00:42:26,340
{\an8}Hey, look, you guys. It's Cred.
980
00:42:27,310 --> 00:42:29,340
(engine running)
981
00:42:32,210 --> 00:42:35,480
Mr. Marsh? What are you doing
with all that Cred?
982
00:42:35,550 --> 00:42:39,250
I'm putting it where it belongs,
in the garbage.
983
00:42:41,150 --> 00:42:43,120
But that's, like, Jelly Roll
Midnight Waffle House.
984
00:42:43,190 --> 00:42:44,990
Do you know what that's worth?
985
00:42:45,060 --> 00:42:46,460
Yeah, I know what it's worth.
986
00:42:46,530 --> 00:42:48,560
It's worth gold
to all the people in the world
987
00:42:48,630 --> 00:42:51,500
who want to use social media
to influence children.
988
00:42:51,560 --> 00:42:54,170
But there's more to life
than making money.
989
00:42:54,230 --> 00:42:57,700
And there's more to marriage
than just beating your wife.
990
00:42:57,770 --> 00:42:59,440
The bottom line is that
991
00:42:59,510 --> 00:43:02,140
all this social media
influencer garbage
992
00:43:02,210 --> 00:43:04,810
is not suitable for children.
993
00:43:04,880 --> 00:43:06,910
And if you're a kid
on social media,
994
00:43:06,980 --> 00:43:10,820
you have to know that someone
is always trying to get to you.
995
00:43:10,880 --> 00:43:13,250
All you have to do
is ask yourself,
996
00:43:13,320 --> 00:43:17,260
"Who is it that wants
to influence me the most?"
997
00:43:20,790 --> 00:43:23,260
Holy shit.
998
00:43:26,470 --> 00:43:28,900
Janice!
999
00:43:30,470 --> 00:43:33,610
Oh, Clyde, where have you been?
We've been worried sick.
1000
00:43:33,670 --> 00:43:35,740
It was you, this whole time.
1001
00:43:35,810 --> 00:43:38,240
{\an8}You've been trying
to influence me for months.
1002
00:43:38,310 --> 00:43:39,810
Clyde, you really should have
1003
00:43:39,880 --> 00:43:41,310
let your father know
where you were...
1004
00:43:41,380 --> 00:43:43,550
You've been paying an influencer
to try and reach me,
1005
00:43:43,620 --> 00:43:45,620
and you caused this whole
fucking mess!
1006
00:43:45,680 --> 00:43:48,090
What is this about, Janice?
1007
00:43:48,150 --> 00:43:52,460
I don't think people understand
how hard it is to be a stepmom.
1008
00:43:53,690 --> 00:43:55,530
You want to try
and teach your kids,
1009
00:43:55,590 --> 00:43:59,060
but they don't listen because
you're not their "real parent."
1010
00:44:00,230 --> 00:44:03,340
I just wanted to be
a good influence on you, Clyde.
1011
00:44:03,400 --> 00:44:05,170
But influencing kids these days
1012
00:44:05,240 --> 00:44:09,040
requires good lighting
and a quality microphone.
1013
00:44:09,910 --> 00:44:11,980
But why Cred?
If you're so against it,
1014
00:44:12,040 --> 00:44:13,610
then why have it
in all those videos?
1015
00:44:13,680 --> 00:44:16,220
That was just to get
your views, Clyde.
1016
00:44:16,280 --> 00:44:19,690
Your views
are so important to me,
1017
00:44:19,750 --> 00:44:21,520
because we never talk.
1018
00:44:21,590 --> 00:44:24,120
Maybe what I did
was all a bit much,
1019
00:44:24,190 --> 00:44:25,990
but look at us.
1020
00:44:26,060 --> 00:44:28,690
Here we are, talking.
1021
00:44:31,460 --> 00:44:34,000
{\an8}Janice, can I call you "Mom"?
1022
00:44:34,070 --> 00:44:36,170
{\an8}Yes, of course.
1023
00:44:36,240 --> 00:44:38,340
{\an8}Fuck you, Mom!
1024
00:44:41,210 --> 00:44:43,410
(exhales):
Oh...
1025
00:44:44,240 --> 00:44:46,110
(indistinct chatter)
1026
00:44:47,280 --> 00:44:49,750
Whoa, Spencer,
is that Mega Cred?
1027
00:44:49,820 --> 00:44:51,250
Yeah, pretty cool, right?
1028
00:44:51,320 --> 00:44:53,290
"Pretty cool"?
How'd you get that?
1029
00:44:53,350 --> 00:44:55,790
Oh, I just went to this thing
in Pueblo. No big deal.
1030
00:44:55,850 --> 00:44:59,120
Everyone! Everyone, can I have
your attention, please?
1031
00:44:59,190 --> 00:45:01,360
We have something really
important to tell you guys.
1032
00:45:01,430 --> 00:45:02,900
Tweek and Butters and I
have learned
1033
00:45:02,960 --> 00:45:04,460
a lot of things recently.
1034
00:45:04,530 --> 00:45:07,070
We have news
that you will all find shocking.
1035
00:45:07,130 --> 00:45:09,070
You see, we talked to Mr. Marsh,
1036
00:45:09,130 --> 00:45:11,300
and he gave us four bottles
1037
00:45:11,370 --> 00:45:13,870
of Jelly Roll
Midnight Waffle House.
1038
00:45:13,940 --> 00:45:15,310
(all gasping)
1039
00:45:15,370 --> 00:45:17,110
- (cheering, screaming)
- No, no, no. Back up.
1040
00:45:17,180 --> 00:45:19,550
This is for the Cred
affinity group only.
1041
00:45:19,610 --> 00:45:22,210
- You can look at our Cred,
but don't touch. - All right!
1042
00:45:22,280 --> 00:45:24,750
Oh, oh, hey, Clyde.
1043
00:45:24,820 --> 00:45:26,490
Say, Clyde, you, uh,
1044
00:45:26,550 --> 00:45:28,490
forgot your super special
Jelly Roll Cred
1045
00:45:28,550 --> 00:45:30,490
at the group meeting, remember?
1046
00:45:38,160 --> 00:45:40,030
It tastes amazing.
1047
00:45:40,100 --> 00:45:41,270
- (cheering)
- All right!
1048
00:45:41,330 --> 00:45:43,670
Yeah! Clyde's got Cred again!
1049
00:45:43,740 --> 00:45:45,770
(cheering)
1050
00:45:50,710 --> 00:45:52,740
{\an8}♪ ♪
1051
00:46:22,270 --> 00:46:24,740
{\an8}♪ ♪